Update

So I’m officially stopping the Geodon.   Sad to see it go on the mood end, thrilled to be done with the side effects.

We opted for Abilify because apparently I had the pills in the wrong order in the “more likely to put you in a coma” chart.  My doctor said Abilify was best and Seroquel and Zyprexa are heavily sedating.  We debated starting it today (she wanted tomorrow, I wanted today so I can see how I reacted before work tomorrow).  Opted for half a dose today as a compromise.  Also added Ambien (another pill that scares me) because Geodon withdrawal makes my insomnia go crazy.

Took my half pill around 4pm.  So far I haven’t passed out so that looks good.  Geodon knocked me on my ass within an hour every time.  By “knocked out” I mean so tired that taking my bedtime pills or even just getting to the bed was a challenge.  It was like a mixture of feeling exhausted and just outright drugged as if someone put something in my drink or something.  This morning with the full sedation in full effect when I woke up I was walking into walls and I can’t recall most of the things my husband (or a glance at my phone) tells me.  My doctor called me, but I couldn’t remember calling her.  My car was moved and when I asked my husband if he knew why he reminded me I asked him for a Frappe.  I kinda remember the coffee, but not anything else that happened.

I’ve always said I would never take Abilify because of all the side effects, but the low side effect meds are officially ruled out now, so all I’m left with is long term side effect meds.  I’m hoping the Lamictal (will hit 100mg in a day or so) works because I really hate to have to take Abilify long term.

Side note, now that I’m done training and back actually working and now commission only once again I feel my workaholic self coming back in full force.  I’m trying to figure a way to get my husband a car to chip in his part of picking up our son from daycare a few nights a week so I can work late.  Going in tomorrow to make up for time lost today and will probably do so the following weekend again.  Luckily I work somewhere that closes and doesn’t let you (though some do) take work home.  So at some point they’ll kick me out and my day will be over regardless of if I made money or not.  When I was self employed and no one told me to stop working there were many nights I was home around 11pm or later after getting in around 7am or 8am.  That’s not to say I’m lazy with a base salary or hourly pay, I just don’t get quite as workaholic-y.

Hopefully workaholic tendencies won’t slow down my posting, but I guess it remains to be seen.

This blog has been a help in a lot of ways, so even if I’m swamped I’m going to try to make sure to take time for it.  Getting everything out is cathartic and going through my tag reader and subscriptions is a nice reminder that I’m not alone.  Free individual and group therapy sessions basically.

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About Kira

How do you say "I hate the about me section" without sounding cliche? I haven't found a way yet, so instead you'll now be subjected to random bits of info so you at least know what the blog is about. I'm a 26 year old wife and fairly new mom trying to make a life for myself and my family. These things should be run of the mill, but alas, I have Bipolar (amongst other diagnoses that I have long since lost track of). So here I am, trying to juggle a professional career, marriage, motherhood...and my own general crazy. All the rest of the "about me" sordid details will have to come in time, but the bottom line is that I need somewhere to vent that makes me feel like I'm being heard (even if no one ever reads this) and if along the way I can help another person or two then all the better. **Full Disclaimer** For the record, Kira is not my real name. Pretty much everyone I know is aware of all of my issues, but I do have a career and such and need to keep some level of privacy due to that. And, well, I'm paranoid. View all posts by Kira

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