Daylight savings and shopping issues

I hate daylight savings time. Most people take a day or two
to get their cycle back to normal. It takes me months. Little
changes like that really mess with me. Actually any little change
will do that. If work makes me go in an hour early once day, my
schedule gets all messed up and I’m a wreck for a while. If my
routine in the mornings isn’t just so I forget things and then I’m
depressed about it for days. I hate how little things to other
people are big things to me. Daylight savings seems to be the
worst. The spring forward messes with my sleep the most and I’m
exhausted for at least a month usually. Sometimes it will make me
swing one way or another. I hear most bipolar people swing up
during either daylight savings. I’ve never actually tracked it and
I have no memory, so maybe I always swing up or down in a pattern
around these times but I’m not sure. All I know is that I feel like
shit either way. I’m also good for seasonal affective issues where
I’m more likely to swing down in winter and up in summer, though
it’s nothing you could set a clock to (much like all my
problems-they’re all too volatile). In other news I think my last
bout of mania has trigger and all the time shopping addiction or
compulsion or some type of shopping issue. I’m not manic. My
thoughts are regular fast but not overwhelming speed. I’m only
seeing things that are stressed induced (weird I know). I don’t
have any brilliant ideas or anything. I’m not hyper productive and
able to accomplish five days work in an hour. In general I’m just
plain old boring me with ad added bonus new problem of being unable
to go a day without spending ass loads of money I do not have
considering I spent it all plus extra a month ago while manic.
Another problem for the therapist I guess. I could, my logical half
says, get all the plastic out of my wallet and carry cash. Or use
an emergency Kira is bipolar and crazy account. But the illogical
part keeps saying “you can control this” or even worse “buy one
more thing then ditch the cards” or sometimes even “but you get
points when you use the credit card.” Sigh. It’s so sad when my
“normal” isn’t even close to being normal.


About Kira

How do you say "I hate the about me section" without sounding cliche? I haven't found a way yet, so instead you'll now be subjected to random bits of info so you at least know what the blog is about. I'm a 26 year old wife and fairly new mom trying to make a life for myself and my family. These things should be run of the mill, but alas, I have Bipolar (amongst other diagnoses that I have long since lost track of). So here I am, trying to juggle a professional career, marriage, motherhood...and my own general crazy. All the rest of the "about me" sordid details will have to come in time, but the bottom line is that I need somewhere to vent that makes me feel like I'm being heard (even if no one ever reads this) and if along the way I can help another person or two then all the better. **Full Disclaimer** For the record, Kira is not my real name. Pretty much everyone I know is aware of all of my issues, but I do have a career and such and need to keep some level of privacy due to that. And, well, I'm paranoid. View all posts by Kira

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